My Talk On Conversion

I gave my first talk since returning to the Church today in Sacrament meeting. I've edited it a bit to reflect the change of medium. I hope you enjoy :)  

A few weeks ago, as I was finishing a meeting with Bishop Compton, he asked me if I had anything I needed to tell him, to which I replied, if you need someone to give a talk, I’m your man. I thought this would surprise him, as we all seem to avoid giving talks like the plague, but his response was more surprising. He said, Oh good, because I have you down for a talk December 8th. I asked him what it was on, and he said conversion, and I said awesome, I can do that, I know that.

After the initial enthusiasm of the topic wore off, I realized I had no idea what I was going to say. Sure, I have had a conversion experience, but not everyone’s experience will be the same.. Whether it is a giant, powerful revelation, or the still small voice whispering it's truth in your ear, the experience is as unique to them as their fingerprint. Immediately I began searching the scriptures for verses on conversion, as well as talks from general conferences. Then a thought came to me: What is conversion?

The bible dictionary tells us that conversion:

Denotes changing one’s views, in a conscious acceptance of the will of God (Acts 3:19). If followed by continued faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism in water for the remission of sins, and the reception of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands, conversion will become complete and will change a natural man into a sanctified, born again, purified person—a new creature in Christ Jesus (see 2 Cor. 5:17). Complete conversion comes after many trials and much testing (see Luke 22:32; D&C 112:12–13). To labor for the conversion of one’s self and others is a noble task, as in Ps. 51:13; Dan. 12:3; James 5:19–20; Alma 26; D&C 18:15–16.

There are a few key phrases in that passage. First, a conscious acceptance of the will of God. I found a definition of conscious that says: (of an action or feeling) deliberate or intentional.  

A deliberate acceptance of the will of God.

A synonym for deliberate is willful, defined as having or showing a stubborn and determined intention to do as one wants, regardless of the consequences or effects. That’s an interesting connection, to me.

To be converted, we must stubborn and determined in our acceptance of God’s will, no matter the consequences. That may seem odd, as consequence is usually a negative word, and why would there be consequences from accepting god’s will? But as members of the church, we have seen first hand the consequences of our faith. From the judgement we face from our peers, to the persecution member’s faced in the early days of the church, the consequences of accepting god’s will are real.

But so are the great blessings we receive when we become, as the bible dictionary says, a new creature in Christ. In a lesson in elder’s quorum a few weeks ago, the question was asked: What is the difference between believing in Christ, and being a believer in Christ? I answered, anyone can say they believe they believe Jesus Christ is their lord and savior, but to be a believer in Christ, we have to show that we know he is. It is not enough to go through the motions, to do what we’ve been told because we’ve been told to do it. We have to want it. I was converted because I was at a point in my life where I was no longer happy idly wondering if God existed. And so I sought him out. And I didn’t get anything at first. I read my scriptures, and prayed to a God, and this is key, to a god I was not yet sure even existed, but I still believed he would answer my prayers.

I wrote a blog on Faith a few weeks ago, and a part of it stood out to me as I reread it in preparation of my talk.

I wrote: “I remember being told that to receive an answer to my prayer inquiring the truth of God that I needed to pray until I could pray no more, and then to keep praying. I found that absurd, like telling someone they had to walk until they passed out from dehydration, get up, and continue walking before being granted a drink. What God could require so much of me, when I was searching for HIM!  

The truth is, a loving One. A just One. I was looking at it in the wrong way. All God requires is that we, like Abraham, be willing to sacrifice our everything to Him, and through that obedience He will grant us new life. And I promise you, he does, and he will. This is coming from a person who literally thought not a month ago that people who had a "relationship" with God were stupid, and ignorant, and who knew He didn't exist, and would never, and could never exist.

Until He did

.Until He came to me, and wrapped His arms around me, and said "I am with you. I have always been, and will always be with you. I have struggled, and mourned, and sorrowed with you, and now I rejoice that you might know Me."

And all it took was believing He would, until I could believe no longer. And then believing a little more. It took giving everything I am, everything I have to him, and the willingness to give so much more.

And to maintain it, I must be willing to do the same.

What's so hard about that?”

What is so hard about that, brothers and sisters? Why is it so hard to keep our faith. To nourish it, and allow it to grow? To give our wills to him, and say thine be done? Because we are natural men and women, with natural bodies, and desires. We are weak on our own. it is only through being converted in Christ, in laying all of our desires, sorrows, and our will, and our burdens at his feet, and trusting Him in all things, that he will give us what we need. Not necessarily what we want, but what we truly need.

I recently wrote a letter to someone telling them how I felt. I wrote this as a therapeutic letter, never having the intention of showing it to them. But about 3/4 of the way through writing it, I was given a strong impression that this was addressed to this person, and they deserved the chance to read it. My heart stopped, I had written things I had never intended for them to hear. These were powerful feelings, and I was not ready to put them out there to be done with as someone else decided, to be either accepted, or discarded. I was afraid what I revealed in the letter would drastically alter, or destroy our friendship. But the more I prayed, the more I was reminded of the Savior in the garden at Gethsemane. He was afraid, just as I was. He pleaded to His Father in Heaven to take away the cup, that he might not drink it. But nevertheless, not my will, but thine be done.

If the Lord was willing to take upon him the sins of the world because the Father asked him to, how could I refuse to give a letter expressing love to a dear friend? I was a nervous wreck the day I did it, but afterwards, instead of the dread I had thought I would feel, all I felt was peace. And it was because I had done what he had asked me to, even though it was hard. We receive wonderful blessings when we consciously, willfully, stubbornly strive to accept his will, no matter the perceived consequences.

This reminds me of a thought from John Pontius’ Journey to the Veil. He’s talking about taking the first step in a spiritual journey, like conversion. He writes that “When you read the scriptures and survey the lives of the noble and great ones of previous gospel dispensations, you are not reading the lives of the extraordinarily talented. You are reading the lives of the extraordinarily obedient. They each started with no greater advantage, genius, or strength than most of us. Their great first step was when they learned to hear, and then to obey, and then to fly.”

Brother’s and sister’s, I was to speak today on conversion, and it may seem that my talk has strayed into trusting in the Lord. But the reality is, they are no different. To be converted, we must trust Him in all things. We must seek out his will, and take it upon us as our own, that we might serve him, and praise him, and do His will in all things. Conversion is not a single moment. While I call it my conversion experience, it was really just the moment that God revealed Himself and his love to me in a way I could perceive. Conversion is a journey, a long one. Filled with trials, and tribulations. We may encounter dead ends, and flat tires, and we might run out of gas. And we might feel hopeless, and want to give up. But I promise you, that if you hold fast, and endure to the end, you shall be changed into a new being, a spiritual creature worthy of returning to His presence.

I bear you my testimony that Christ and the Father are real. They loves us to a degree that is so great, it is unfathomable to us in our current fallen state. I know how hard it is to be converted, to keep faith. But I promise you, if you will trust in Him in all things, and endure to the end, great blessings shall be poured out upon you. I promise you that if you come to Him with a broken heart, and a contrite spirit, and pour out your desires, and leave all of your pain, and sorrow, and hope, and love, and trust at his feet, he will take it all and mold you into the person you are truly meant to be.

I leave these things with you, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.